It’s not looking good for Akihabara’s maid cafes as customers drift away from paying exorbitant prices for cups of coffee where there are no “extras”.

According to a media report, maid cafes started in Akihabara in 2001 and then you get visit on for a drink for a mere ¥500. (These days it is more like double that or more!)

Based on national database figures, there were a mere 132 maid cafes in Akiba at the end of 2011. Since the peak was 282 cafes, this means 150 — over half — have closed.

In the decade the world economy has hardly done so well and Japan in particular is suffering under a recession. (But that has hardly led to otaku desisting from bulk-buying AKB48 CDs.) Maid cafes, though, have high costs because they have many more staff than is necessary.

While it is likely inconceivable that maid cafes will disappear from Akiba, the peak is long gone — and unless maid cafes can adapt and start to offer something new and better, their numbers will surely continue to dwindle.

To celebrate the upcoming Tokyo performances of the Hatsune Miku opera “The End” we wanted to show a side to the virtual idol that likely won’t be put on a stage soon… but deserves to be.

Hurray for good customer service.

Over on Tokyo Reporter we read a interesting little summary of a tabloid article that claims Abenomics — the Japanese prime minister’s fiscal policies aimed at bringing inflation — are having no effect on the sex industry.

You can still head to a soapland and have a good time with all the foam and frolics for as little as 10,000 yen, and sometimes even lower in certain east Tokyo neighborhoods like Yoshiwara.

Abenomics might have raised the Nikkei by sixty percent but actually a price war has emerged between certain establishments in notorious areas like Ikebukuro. There are even early bird discounts from 7am to 8am in at least one soapland.

For the uninitiated, soaplands are bathhouse-style sex parlors where you get a wash and other “extra” services are also on the menu. A naked women will rub you down with soap and her body, and then perform others of physical “cleaning” on your body. Foreigners are typically turned away but certain places are welcoming.

And a cheaper price doesn’t mean lesser quality services either, apparently. “In these recessionary times, the high-end shops still provide luxurious facilities,” says one source! Great!

It pays to be careless sometimes, it seems.

For a Japanese porn star, despite all those nakadashi scenes, you would think that getting pregnant was the thing they fear most. It signals if not the end of their career, at least a large blimp where they cannot work.

But not if you are as cute as the cosplayer JAV porn star Tsubomi, whose latest film is simply called Tsubomi Pregnant.

We think the main point of the film is thus pretty obvious.

Of course, there are lots of pregnant porn films already and even pregnant women sex shops for people with lactating breasts fetishes.

But this is a major star, so the profile is much higher and Tsubomi has made an image out of innocence and purity.

Now that has been smashed by the large lump in her stomach… which can be used to great advantage in this two-hour film. For example, to be dripping with spunk or groped by two men at the same time.

Offensive to the idea of maternity? Or just plain sexy?

We’ve always known that the people behind AKB48 do not understand the meaning of bad taste, and here’s the latest demonstration. From Lolicon kiddy dancing to “hand-bras”, AKB48 continues to plumb the depths of the cringe-worthy.

AKB48 member Yuki Kashiwagi is filmed grating a yam to make totoro for no better reason that than it is an excuse to show incredibly gratuitous and infantile shots of her drinking what is suggested to be cum.

Seriously, this is embarrassing to watch. They literally show close-ups of the idol’s mouth eating the white liquid — and yet, Yuki is forced to remain a virgin and never have boyfriends all the while she stays a member of AKB. (Although, Yuki does not seem to be obeying the rules about dating, at any rate.)

Come on! We love porn but don’t hide behind a facade of “innocence”. Just make a porno, for christ’s sake! We know that Yuki Kashiwagi is sexy, so why not go through with the real thing?

AKB48 is the perfect example of chuto hanpa, being halfway somewhere and thus nowhere.

A man has been arrested for molesting a woman on a train, known as chikan in Japan.

Nothing new in that. Another day, another groper.

But this time the 26-year-old man from Osaka claims the whole thing had been arranged via a special online forum. On the website people who want to molest and a woman who wanted to be molested invited collaborations for a public “session” on a moving train.

The date and plan was set for the Kokawa-Kainan Wakayama line one morning during the Golden Week holidays.

The woman told forum members what she would be wearing and that she would respond realistically — i.e. resist!

The would-be victim even posted information on her wardrobe and where she was sitting on the day of the session itself.

Two men decided to satisfy her cravings and went up to a sitting woman who matched the description on the train. One sat next to her and another stood in front, and both proceeded to grope her for around twenty minutes. She protested, louder and louder, to the extent that one man got scared and got off the train. The other lapsed into silence. Her “realism” had been a bit much and all the eyes in the carriage were on him!

At the end of the line the man tried to get off but the victim grabbed him and brought him to the station staff.

The twenty-three-year-old woman claims to have never used the website and that she always sits in the same seat on the train.

It seems our hapless chikan may have been set up by a prankster (who no doubt was also on the train and watching the events with amusement) and the online forum admin is now co-operating with the police. After all, they have the IP address and other details of the original poster.

So it just goes to show, guys, some things are too good to be true!

Boys, time to despair. The pages of your tabloids won’t be filled with images of sexy Gravure model Yumi Sugimoto for a while.

The top sexpot has come down with acute pyelonephritis, meaning she has to take a few weeks off work and recover.

Recently Yumi has been working more in the mainstream, including a role in a musical till earlier this month and even a supporting part in a NHK period drama in 2012. She also appears in the tokusatsu TV show, Engine Sentai Go-onger.

Get well soon, Yumi!

Outspoken former Osaka mayor and founder of the Japan Restoration Party, now Japan’s third largest party, Toru Hashimoto has got himself in hot water over some comments he made about the “comfort women” during the war and his recommendations for how to avoid rapes in Okinawa.

Hashimoto, no stranger to getting noticed by provocative comments, told reporters in Osaka on on Monday that the “comfort women” (local women forced into prostitution by the colonizing Japanese forces in Asia during the war) were necessary in order to maintain military discipline.

The women “were necessary in order to provide relaxation for those brave soldiers who had been in the line of fire,” he said.

He then explained that on a trip to Okinawa he told leading US military staff that troops should make more use of prostitutes to relieve sexual tension.

“I’m not merely making conversation. I want them to use sex shops more,” Hashimoto told the American.

US troops are formally forbidden from entering brothels and the number of sexual assaults on Okinawa against local women is high.

On the surface, what Hashimoto is saying is not crazy but his style is likely what is upsetting people. (Also, Osaka has the largest population of Korean-Japanese, many of whom are descended from people forcibly brought to Japan, so he should have tread more carefully given the turf he was on!)

“The wartime violations of women is a grave violation of human rights that is widely shared by the international community. The remarks by Hashimoto reveal a serious lack of perception for women’s human rights,” responded one South Korean government spokesperson.

Of course, just because “comfort women” were “necessary” it doesn’t mean they wanted to do it (and Hashimoto also admits they were forced, which many Japanese deny — including Shinzo Abe’s first government in 2007!) or that it was a nice thing, but it would be naive to suggest that armies don’t “need” sex.

Likewise, he justified his other remarks with the valid historical example of how the American Occupation forces and Japanese government organized prostitutes for the US troops immediately after the foreign troops arrived to avoid large-scale rape… It basically worked, though I’m sure it was horrible for the women involved.

Shintaro Ishihara, who is co-leader of Hashimoto’s party and well-known for his own verbal gaffes, said: “Any military is commonly associated with prostitution. It’s a principle of history and by no means preferable. But Hashimoto is not saying anything wrong, basically.”

Washington apparently responded that Hashimoto’s comments were “ridiculous”.

No one is above the law.

An ex-cop from the riot police has been arrested for the attempted abduction of a 15-year-old school girl in Akishima, Tokyo.

Former police sergeant Koichi Omura (32) left the force in March but has been busy since then.

He is accused of coming up to a fifteen-year-old high school first grade student early in the morning on April 15th. He was in a rented car and she was walking along a street.

“There was a crime nearby. You need to cooperate with me in a case,” he said to her, no doubt hoping either to terrify her into “cooperation” or to make her feel excited to be part of a top police unit.

He flashed a police notebook at the innocent teenager.

Brilliant, using his former police resources!

She got in but there was no pulling the wool over this young girl’s eyes. She smelt the unmistakably stink of lewd motives in Omura’s eyes and tried to get out.

Despite Omura’s best police-trained efforts, the schoolgirl managed to escape with the help of passersby.

Omura — who must know that Japan has a 99% conviction rate — is now being sweated by his former peers. He denies all charges of attempted kidnap of a minor.

“I rented the car the day before, but I loaned it to an acquaintance.”

Years on the force taught him how to conjure up terrible alibis!

Last autumn a sensual ad for Glico’s sweet Dororich drink with five Gravure idols was a big hit.

Glico had such a good time with the curvy ladies that they made a new one!

This time the five lovely ladies are…

Anna Konno (b. 1989)

Ayaka Sayama (b. 1993)

Asuka Kishi (b. 1991)

Mitsuki Hoshina (b. 1996)

Arisa (b. 1989)

It’s great to see Gravure idols getting mainstream exposure like this. More of this please!

There is magic in Japan and it’s called cosmetics.

It’s well-known that Japanese women spend more time and care on their make-up than women in other countries. Shiseido and its peers are respected for being some of the most successful and effective cosmetic brands in the world.

Here we can see it in action.

S Cawaii fashion magazine organized this incredible demonstration of the power of make-up.

It took a bunch of girls who, without being mean, were fairly ordinary looking — or perhaps even, if we are honest, below average.

But cosmetics was used to bring out their true charms and accentuate their beauty.

For this lady they transformed her lips.

Here the work was on the eyes.

Here’s a video of the make-up before and after!

A thirty-one-year-old man has been arrested for pretending to be a comedy duo’s manager in early March and approaching Gravure model Momoko Tani (28) in a department store.

There she tried on some clothes and he put on a show of being helpful.

“It’s dangerous so I’ll carry your bag for you,” he told her, whereupon he then stole her bag and went off.

The comedy duo, Bananaman, is now very popular in Japan and no doubt the suspect believed that claiming to be their manager would be a ticket to all sorts of fun activities he normally could not do.

Ironically, Bananaman’s actual manager is a woman and is even well-known in the industry as a real hottie. (Of course, Momoko Tani cannot have known this.)

Apparently Tani was in Yurakucho in central Tokyo when she was approached by the man, who is unemployed and lives in Chiba. He put on a convincing deception through his apparently detailed inside knowledge of the entertainment industry. He knew all the TV shows that she had appeared in and she felt that she couldn’t be rude to the man. She did ask for a business card but he persuaded her that due to agency regulations, he didn’t carry them on his days off.

He then said that his wife and child were on the way, but could stay with her till then. When she then went to try on some clothes, she put down her bag. He, being a gentleman, offered to hold it for her while she was in the changing room.

The stolen shoulder bag contained around 60,000 yen in cash. The bag itself was worth around 100,000 yen.

Apparently these kinds of crimes are common amongst women working in the entertainment industry. Men target them as objects of desire and also something to win power over.

Fake scouts on the streets are also a problem, where they claim to be able to get women jobs as models or actresses, but then demand fees or steal money in other ways. Tani herself was originally scouted on the streets of Tokyo in Omotesando.

Think you like a bit of MILF? Think again. You’ve got nothing on this guy.

An unemployed man in his mid-forties has been arrested in Aichi, central Japan, for groping a pensioner.

The man professes to be mad about mature women — so-called jukujo — and couldn’t resist the woman he saw in her seventies.

Hiroyuki Kojima apparently watched a “video” (i.e. porn) and that converted him into a MILF lover.

Actually, Japan is meant to be experiencing a “jukujo boom” right now, led by the likes of Dan Mitsu. However, it is very deceptive since Dan Mitsu et al are in their early thirties! Sure, compared to some Gravure idols and the faux youthful looks of idol groups like AKB48 they might seem like “mature” woman, in truth they cannot be classified as jukujo.

Kojima, however, knows what the real McCoy is.

On May 15th he saw a woman in her seventies on the street and went up to her from behind, and began to touch her body. This kind of groping — which commonly happens on trains — is called chikan.

“I’ve done chikan in Aichi to old women about ten times,” Kojima is said to have boasted to the police.

It’s that time of year again.

With the AKB48 “elections” taking place to see who gets to sing in the next song, Twitter is awash with pictures of boxes of CDs and tickets purchased by passionate otaku fans.

One fan has shared images of towers of boxes, boasting that they spent 1,917,800 yen on them — and paid for on delivery in cash to the mail man too! They now have thousands of CDs to play to their heart’s content.

Another is meant to have shared images of 1,614,400 yen’s worth of merchandise — about half a year’s salary for most people.

Or there are piles of tickets to hand-shaking events — representing thousands of chances to shake an idol’s hand.

Of course, some of these images may be fake, but then again, we have been here before…

The election is currently being led surprisingly by exiled Rino Sashihara, these days a member of the Hakata spin-off of AKB48 following a previous scandal.

246 girls from the various AKB groups are competing to appear in the upcoming thirty-second single. Voting continues until June 7th so we can expect more crazy otaku pictures soon.

When you’ve got something good, hold onto it, as the saying goes.

Well, some people have taken that literally when it comes to women.

In Cardboard Box Confinement Girl, a man keeps a girl in his house as a sex slave and literally makes her sleep in his closet in a cardboard box.

There are so-called freeter Japanese “in-between” workers and other working poor who are forced to live and sleep in box flats so tiny we would call them cages or closets. If they’re lucky they can live in an internet cafe and get to sleep at one of the computer booths.

Well, I guess this girl is the sex slave equivalent of that social movement.

Of course, we were intrigued by this JAV porn DVD. How could you stretch this out for nearly two hours? Well, you can. When she is allowed out of her closet she has to wear a lead and neck collar, but that’s when the real fun begins…

Here’s something we always suspected!

A Japanese tabloid has published rumors that AKB48‘s founders may not only sickening old men with a liking for teenaged girls — but have close connections with the yakuza, the Japanese mafia.

Given that the Japanese government is using public funds for its risible “Cool Japan” schemes, which have Yasushi Akimoto as an advisor, essentially this means the government has been paying a mafia-related organization to promote the nation.

The weekly Shukan Shincho has published a picture and allegations that one of AKB48 founders Kotaro Shiba (one of AKB48′s top dogs, along with Akimoto and Yasushi Kubota) is closely linked to the yakuza.

The photo shows Shiba with the wife of a Yamaguchi crime boss, along with other known gangsters of the Goto and Yamaguchi syndicates at a banquet in a hotel in Shizuoka.

Shiba, director of AKB48′s agency office48 (and from whose name the “48″ is derived), has responded by issuing a statement admitting to going to the party. However, he says he “did not associate with the yakuza” when there. In other words, he just sat in the corner not speaking to anyone.

Shiba has started a few enterprises over the years and is the business mind behind office48. The Shukan Shincho previously published allegations of Shiba’s associations with organized crime, for which it was sued for its troubles. Now it probably thinks it is on safe grounds with photographic evidence, even if it was taken ten years ago.

Japanese porn star Sola Aoi (aka Sora Aoi) is immensely popular in China but her latest attempt to flog her titillating DVDs has backfired with the establishment.

She has now indulged in some calligraphy in the country, though it has been criticized as “unskilled” by traditionalists.

That hasn’t stopped it from being auctioned for $95,000!

Sola wrote eight Kanji characters at a theme park in Ningbo, which were sold this month.

However, the media has tried to use the opportunity to criticize this “foreign” invader of the flesh.

“The style of calligraphy is childish, unskilled,” said the Liberation Daily newspaper. The paper is associated with the Shanghai branch of the Communist Party.

“Her calligraphy has nothing to do with art and the people buying and selling it don’t care about whether or not what she writes is art,” said the deputy head of the Shanghai Youth Calligraphers Association, Tang Jihui.

Aoi is not yet 29 but is a superstar, especially in China. Technically porn is censored in the country but of course, bootlegs and pirated DVDs abound. Millions follow her Chinese blog and she is now branching out into roles that don’t just involve her having sex.

Of course, the auction of the “art” was just a publicity stunt by the theme park — which has succeeded in bringing it a lot of attention.

Her fans have also defended her “skills and integrity” in social media.

There recently appeared online a Q&A with someone who claimed to work for a sex club (fuzoku), inviting Japan’s netizens to throw out questions.

Here is a selection of the results…

What type of sex club is it?

“Wife” hotel delivery.

Have you ever hit a customer demanding to go the whole way with a girl?

I’ve made a copy of someone’s driver’s licence before.

Do you spend money on STDs?

We get checked [the girls] out.

Where do you recruit women?

Online.

If yours is a “wife”-style sex club, then I guess your customers are mostly young?

In the mornings there are older guys. After that it’s all types.

Are the women really “wives”?

Some are, some aren’t.

I’ve worried about catching something and being made to pay more money than expected.

No, we don’t do that.

How much do you earn?

I take home around 250,000 yen [per month].

Do the Yakuza really run the business?

Not at mine.

When’s the best time to go?

If you want a “wife”, try morning to lunchtime. For younger women, night is better.

What’s the trick to choosing a good girl?

On the whole, more than their face ask about their personality. Well, there are some people who deceive you, though…

How many customers do you see a day on average?

Around 30

That must mean you are doing well?

Well, it used to be more like 50.

But what do you actually do?

I run the reception and do the photos on the website.

Are the photos fake?

Some places use external photos but it’s fun to do them yourself.

The culture of chikan and up-skirt photography is catching, it seems!

Police in Yokosuka, Kanagawa, have arrested a petty officer third class stationed at the nearby US naval base. The 22-year-old took a bus in the town but decided to take in the view not just from the window.

At around 8:20 in the morning he was caught trying to snap a shot with his smartphone up the skirt of a third-year high school girl.

A 39-year-old woman thought something was suspicious and grabbed the man, reporting him to police. The soldier then sealed his guilt by notably smashing up his phone prior to being handed over to the boys in blue!

“I wanted to take a picture of the girl’s face,” he told police.

A highly unlikely story but we shouldn’t be too hard on the guy. When confronted by the talents of a 17-year-old Japanese student, who can resist?

We do wonder what other visual treasures were on his phone, though!

Perhaps he should have just listened to Mayor Hashimoto’s advice?

It’s election time for the AKB48 idols. But lurking under the surface right now are several unsavory rumors.

For a start, the alleged connections between AKB48 executives and the yakuza. These have emerged again even after AKB48 big wig Yasushi Kubota sued the Shukan Bunshun last year for such remarks.

Now there are also suggestions that Kubota and former AKB48 hottie Tomomi Kasai (21) — and no stranger to her own sex-related scandals — are conducting an affair.

Images have been published supposedly showing the pair returning late at night to a luxury condo.

Kasai is also meant to be currently living in a top-end condo that costs billions of yen — and which Kubota previously resided at. It has a pool, sauna and gym, with five types of lock protecting it from the outside world.

Kubota is alleged to have fallen for Kasai’s charms and could not control his urges till she graduated, and pulled her into his bed.

There are also rumors that his other lover is (was?) Mariko Shinoda.

So are these “rules” against idols dating merely smoke screens for the managers to have their middle-aged way with the young girls?