Somewhat strangely and belatedly, this has become a controversial topic this month.
The popular porn star Eimi Fukada had to backtrack with an apology after she attracted opprobrium for asserting that men should pay for women on dates, since the latter investing a lot of time and money into preparing for the date.
And then former AKB48 idol Mai Oshima weighed in, saying during a livestream on her YouTube channel that she wouldn’t go to a party or dinner where the guys weren’t paying.
Japanese dating app Omiai conducted a poll in August 2022 of 217 men and 247 women — all of whom have a romantic partner and who live in major cities — to ask their opinion on the matter. The results were published online in early February, before the recent “scandals” with Oshima and Fukada, but still coming out at an interesting time in the discourse.
The percentage of women who expect the man to pay for everything was quite low among teenagers, who seem to expect to go Dutch.
Here’s the breakdown by age group:
Women in their teens: 14%
Women 20-29: 11%
Women 30-39: 21%
Women 40-40: 30%
Women 50-59: 44%
Intriguingly, the least likely to think that men should pay were women in their teens and twenties, suggesting that the attitude is old-fashioned or is something that women acquire as they get older.
Men who said they want to pay for everything on a date were highest among older guys:
Men in their teens: 15%
Men 20-29: 16%
Men 30-39: 30%
Men 40-49: 26%
Men 50-59: 48%
At the risk of making a controversial statement, this may just reflect reality: guys in their fifties — especially in Japan — may only get a date with a (younger) woman if they are paying.
As you might expect, the percentage of women who rather want to pay for everything was tiny, as was the percentage of men who want or expect the woman to pay for everything on a date.
So if you’re on a budget and want to split the costs evenly, who should you date? The results for respondents who expect to go Dutch suggest yor should find a guy or girl in her teens.
Women in their teens: 67%
Men in their teens: 55%
Women 20-29: 48%
Men 20-29: 36%
Women 30-39: 40%
Men 30-39: 26%
Women 40-49: 26%
Men 40-49: 26%
Women 50-59: 25%
Men 50-59: 14%
Of course, this reflects the economic reality among teens that neither side will have much money, so it would be unnatural to expect the guy to pay for everything out of the meagre wage he earns from his weekly shift at the convenience store.
What the results don’t show is how attitudes might change if, say, a teen or someone in their twenties was dating someone a bit older. We imagine young women would then have a different opinion of whether their older boyfriend should pay for everything.
The survey also (unsurprisingly) found that the higher their income, the more men and women expected to pay on dates, though it was very prominent among women who earn more than ¥5 million. That group expects to pay 4.1 times as much on a “special” date than a “regular” date, indicating that they are perhaps the group with the highest expectations from the men they are dating.
